EBGTZ’s Guide for Trusted Adults

November 4, 2024

Categories:

Youth

Youth – According to the United Nations a youth is defined as someone aged 15-24. Worldwide,  1.2B youth account for 16% of the total global population. In 1995 the UN decided to dedicate more resources and funds to combat the issues youth solely face such as access to education, gender inequality, employment, or that they are impacted by more than other individuals (ex: adults). August 12 is International Youth Day (created in 1998).

Trusted adults – older individuals usually aged 25+ responsible for protecting, respecting, and nurturing youth/adolescents’ boundaries, knowledge, and self-worth. According to Missing Kids and Youth Smart trusted adults build positive and structured relationships with the youth by providing safe non-judgemental environments where youth feel heard. 

Not all adults are trusted adults. In fact, it is very common for a youth’s first experience with abuse/violence to come from someone they know. 

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Engaging with young people as parents and household members

Support for LGBQT+ youth from traditional and nontraditional family members is important so they feel safe, comfortable, and overall have a better start on life. 

According to the Oakland LGBTQ+ Community Center, LGBTQ young adults who reported higher levels of family rejection during adolescence were 8.4 times more likely to report having attempted suicide, 5.9 times more likely to report high levels of depression, 3.4 times more likely to use illegal drugs, and 3.4 times more likely to report having engaged in unprotected sexual intercourse, compared with peers from families that reported no or low levels of family rejection. 

Below are key pointers from EBGTZ and other credible sources on being an approachable parent/household member. 

Do Haves: 

• As the household member/trusted adult make sure you have factual information and resources to help support both you and the young person during/after this conversation.
• Listen to your child. Try your best to understand where they are coming from, and what they are trying to articulate, and let them express clear thoughts without interruption. 
• If you are confused please ask young people questions. The better the understanding between the two of you, the greater and more impactful the conversation. 
• Think and speak from a place of intent, love, and empathy. Imagine it as if you were in your childhood. How did you want to be addressed, spoken to, and understood as a youth? 
• Learn and understand different terminology associated with your child’s identity and sexual orientation.
• It’s okay to be embarrassed. Allow your child to see your uncomfortableness, it will allow them to see your vulnerability.  
• As children develop, get older, and experience life,  allow the conversations to dive deeper into particular areas of the youth’s choice. For example, when speaking with teenagers the conversation of romantic relationships, sex, etc. might/should be discussed. However, for younger youth, the importance of youth defining themselves (personal agency), pronouns, and understanding cis and trans experiences might be the focus. 

Do Nots: 

• Don’t be judgemental. Youth want to feel heard, respected, and loved even if you don’t agree. Don’t let your emotions cloud your judgment. 
• Overtalk or take over the conversation. You are the passenger of this conversation while the youth is steering.

Below are city and statewide programs/workshops for both families and LGBQT+ youth participants:

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Engaging young people in 1:1 discussions

“A 1:1 mentoring relationship can help you to remove your limitations and achieve your potential, get advice and support from someone who has ‘been there, done that’ and accelerate your soft skills development. Mentors can give you advice on how to handle tricky situations, how to get promoted, how to get a raise and even how to land the job of your dreams.” – Elena, Linkedin

“Mentors are great because they have years of experience in their field that they’re willing to share with others. You’ll learn from them directly as they teach you new techniques.” – Elena, Linkedin

EBGTZ key pointers along with youth-led activities to consider while engaging with young leaders from ages 14-18 and 21-25. 

Do Haves: 

• Consist & specific time(s) dedicated to that youth. Everyone involved, whether youth participants or trusted adults, all have busy schedules. Both parties should carve out time solely for their meetings with little to no interruptions. 
• Respect their opinion and expertise. Youth have a lot of knowledge, especially when it comes to communicating with each other. Listen, understand, and help build them up to be great leaders. 
• Ask open-ended questions while trying to learn and have a conversation with youth. Close-ended  questions can be very limiting in getting to know someone. Asking open-ended questions that have a follow-up can lead to an in-depth conversation and deeper connection. 
• Allow youth to set the direction/goals for the interaction. Trusted adults should let youth decide the relationship (ex: teacher/student, mentor/peer, etc.)
• Allow youth to lead and make decisions – adults are facilitators and youth are leaders. As mentors, it’s sometimes best to allow youth to make decisions and face the consequences whether good or bad (just no dangerous and illegal activities.)

Do Nots: 

• Don’t be strict/rigid. Don’t have expectations or set them unless initiated by youth. Don’t apply one youth’s development to another. Everyone grows at their own pace.
• Don’t patronize. Don’t belittle their ideas, don’t be controlling, don’t lie or sugarcoat things, and be honest and authentic with them. Most kids understand and just need a sense of direction, not for trusted adults to take over.

Act for Youth offers detailed activities that are youth-centered and are meant to be youth-led. It also breaks down instructions and explains them easily enough for teenagers (14-18) and young adults (21-25) to understand. Many of these skills (ex: critical thinking, decision-making, etc) are not taught to adolescents and Act for Youth’s activities offer an opportunity for them to teach themselves with proper guidance. Some of the activities below are great examples of this.

Examples of youth decision-making/problem-solving activities/reviews. (Full list of activities from ACT for Youth site)

• Tips on problem-solving (short synopsis for adults to read on best practices dealing with 1-on-1 with you)
• Skill-building games (music, team building, leadership, etc. games all dedicated to help with critical thinking)
• Decision-making and problem-solving
  • Activity #1: “The aim of this activity is to teach students the steps involved in effective decision-making/problem-solving”
  • Worksheet(s): Help youth with identifying problems and creating solutions
• Reflective worksheet (Youth or group led activity helping to analyze final product/results of the decision and come up with next steps)
• SWOT analysis worksheet (Break down of personal/situational strengths, weaknesses, opportunities, and threats)

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National & International sexual health fellowships & ambassadorships

It’s important to have paid internships so youth can grow and prepare themselves for the real world with proper guidance. This type of internship allows for both trusted adults and youth to develop separate skill sets while simultaneously nurturing relationship(s) between the organization(s) involved, trusted adult(s), and the youth participants. 

• Developing adult skill set: combating adultism, collaborating with youth, and mentoring/coaching 
• Developing youth skill set: time and money management, organization, and critical thinking   

Here are national and international youth programs that include conferences, mentorship, collaboration, and most importantly environments for education in an array of forms.

• YAI – Youth Advocates Institute: Youth-led conference focused on various forms of activism. Youth participating can join several groups from reproductive rights, HIV criminalization, education reform, etc. In these groups they are taught how to host/conduct protests, do community engagement, write/create bills, host rallies, etc. Also great access to information nationwide as well as scholarship, internship, and ambassadorship opportunities for minors starting at 16/17-25. Hosted in Washington DC in September.
  • Youth Activist Institute application
• USCHA conference/Biomedical conference – Annual conference focused on HIV-related topics ranging from education to pleasure and everything in between. Hourly workshops and daily check-ins with advisors. Stiped, hotel, and flight included. Hosted in different locations each year in March/April (Biomedical) & September/October (USCHA)
• Youth Initiative Scholarship – monthly group and advisor (1-on-1) check-ins, virtual and in-person workshops for sexual health education specifically related to HIV topics, guest lectures from pivotal t individuals in the industry, and networking opportunities. 
• Youth Across Borders – Youth (ages 18-29) can apply to become ambassadors and then apply for a chance to be a volunteer at a retreat in Honduras. There youth ambassadors can interact with locals heavily impacted by HIV and participate in various week-long activities focused on sexual health specifically HIV.
• Dream Youth Clinic
  • RJ summer: Created by the youth themselves RJ’s summer “curriculum” is collaborative peer-to-peer education. Giving black and brown femme youth knowledge and strength to fight for the reproductive justice movement. 
  • The Garden of Dream: Created in 2020 during the pandemic; the garden is youth-led and a youth-designed safe space where individuals are educated and able to engage in their health through an outdoor clinic model.

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Mental health resources for individuals in the Bay Area

“Mental health includes our emotional, psychological, and social well-being. It affects how we think, feel, and act. It also helps determine how we handle stress, relate to others, and make healthy choices.1 Mental health is important at every stage of life, from childhood and adolescence through adulthood.” – CDC

Below are mental health resources for everyone living in the Bay Area.

• National Alliance in San Francisco – is an organization that provides crisis hotline services, support groups, and training classes for people who battle with mental illness disorders and also their support systems (ex: caretakers, household/family members, friends, etc.). NAMISF support groups cater to a variety of diagnoses, cultural backgrounds, gender expressions/identities, etc. They also offer these services in Spanish as well. NAMISF is the largest grassroots organization in the United States and provides support to millions of Americans across the country. 
• CHHS – California’s Health Department started a digital mental health program for the youth. This current initiative focuses on youth aged 1-12 and 13-25 utilizing the BrightLife Kids and Soluna site/app. BrightLife Kids includes strategies helping adolescents navigate through emotional feelings, 1:1 meetings with mentors, setting boundaries on social media etc. Soluna app focuses on activities such as journaling, 1:1 meetings with mentors, virtual peer support groups, and other tools to better their mental health. CHHS also offers crisis hotline services and support videos for LGBQT+ youth.
• Huckleberry – started in 1967 and is mainly based in San Francisco however open to everyone who needs them. Their mission is to “strengthen families and empower young people with services that promote safety in times of crisis, physical and emotional health and well-being, social justice in communities facing inequity, and educational success.” They believe when youth succeed everyone else will follow. 

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Sexual health policies, facts, and resources YOUTH and their ALLIES should know

“Sexuality education equips children and young people with the knowledge, skills, attitudes and values that help them to protect their health, develop respectful social and sexual relationships, make responsible choices and understand and protect the rights of others.” – World Health Organization

Here are some of the current Californian policies focused on protecting youth’s access to comprehensive sex ed and other forms of sexual health. 

• California Healthy Youth Act – requires school districts to ensure that all pupils in grades seven to twelve, inclusive, receive comprehensive sexual health education and HIV prevention education. – There are 5 primary goals: 
  • 1.) To provide pupils with the knowledge and skills necessary to protect their sexual and reproductive health from HIV and other sexually transmitted infections and from unintended pregnancy
  • 2.) To provide pupils with the knowledge and skills they need to develop healthy attitudes concerning adolescent growth and development, body image, gender, sexual orientation, relationships, marriage, and family;
  • 3.)To promote understanding of sexuality as a normal part of human development;
  • 4.)To ensure pupils receive integrated, comprehensive, accurate, and unbiased sexual health and HIV prevention instruction and provide educators with clear tools and guidance to accomplish that end;
  • 5.)To provide pupils with the knowledge and skills necessary to have healthy, positive, and safe relationships and behaviors
• (Fam. Code § 6925) – first amended in 1997 offers youth confidentiality/protection while seeking sexual health-related care.  
  • A minor may consent to medical care related to the prevention or treatment of pregnancy,” except sterilization.
  • A minor may obtain all forms of birth control without parental consent, including long-acting reversible contraception and emergency contraception. A minor may not consent to sterilization.
  • A minor may consent to an abortion without parental consent.
• In 2022 the policy was updated and states, “The state shall not deny or interfere with an individual’s reproductive freedom in their most intimate decisions, which includes their fundamental right to choose to have an abortion and their fundamental right to choose or refuse contraceptives.”  
• To find out about other policies enacted in California or/and the USA click here. 

Below are sexual health education tools and other resources for individuals living in the East Bay

• Sexual Health Educator training program – available to school teachers, administrators, or anyone who works in a class environment. This program is “an educational and capacity-building opportunity for California educators working with youth in school, community, and clinical settings who desire to build their sexual health knowledge and education skills.” Many teachers are mandated to teach sex ed but have no formal training or expertise, this training course offers a chance to remedy that. The program itself was created by CHHS, the Department of Education, the California Prevention Training Center, and many sexual health providers.
• Stanford LGBTQ+ Health Program – is a health program dedicated to providing services to the LGBTQ+ community. You can just be looking for a more inclusive doctor (office), or seeking gender-affirming care, therapy, or mental health services, and even finding help with fertility and reproductive care. The program doctors (some even LGBTQ+ themselves) like to make sure compassion, kindness, and understanding are at the center of every patient visit. Their locations are based in San Francisco however they provide services to anyone in California.

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Engaging young people via social media and web pages

EBGTZ introducing a variety of key pointers and digital materials focused on uplifting and educating BIPOC LGBQT+ youth, their families, or/and allies. 

Do Have:

• Enticing elements to the page that draw users in. For example, click tutorial that navigates users where to click for specific information. 
• Inviting atmosphere like the Dream Youth Clinic website . Their homepage has the Founder and CEO of the organization, Dr. Aisha Mays, explaining who she is and what her organization does for the community. 
• Family-oriented aspect to your site. Similar to the Brainpop Website, an educational platform for youth (not the same content); the webpage should be geared towards families as a whole, not specific groups. 
• Social media content or homemade videos (ex: EBGTZ prep videos). These are created to put a spotlight on the line of work, credible influencers or politicians making a change/putting out information, or simply feel-good content. 
• Regularly updated stats/testing information from credible institutions like the CDC or other federal agencies. Sites should be collecting and updating research data, information on local/state/federal policies, budget changes, etc.

Do Not:

• Make it solely educational-based. The webpage shouldn’t be just headers with documents listed or data; there should be an emotional/humanizing appeal and feel to the site. 
• One point of view; information should cater to community members and families. This should be a webpage where the youth, family members, or community organizations are able to digest the information with ease.

Examples of content that moves young people

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Engaging young people at in-person/outreach events

Credible opinions from both EBGTZ and other experts on garnering participation from the youth for (positive youth-friendly) sex ed events.

Do Haves:

• Direct communication with youth. The facilitator/trusted adult of the meeting should speak directly to the youth with little to no middleman. (ex: scheduling, location, deliverables for meetings). 
• Have food and giveaways available. Many of these youth participants are coming after school or/and have unstable living conditions. Nutrition will be a great incentive as well as making sure participants are /coherent during the meeting. 
• Giving stipends/gift cards/payments. Great incentive; also many youth want to be a part of an organization’s planning committee if they are paid. 
• Have near-peers/young people as part of the leadership/planning team. This could include young people in the execution of the event, sending out research surveys that the youth can access, etc.)
• Play health-related games, and give out prizes. Youth want fewer lectures and more hands-on and youth-friendly activities/workshops. A great way to get participants in workshops is to offer prizes. (ex: gift cards)
• Using youth-forward language in resources/pamphlets, etc. Some of the language in sexual health, specifically HIV handouts, pamphlets, etc. can be hard to understand. Vocabulary/language in the field can be very advanced or overall different from what most individuals are used to dealing with on a day-to-day basis. 
• Allow for spaces where youth can learn from each other. Youth expressed wanting opportunities to learn and teach each other versus learning from a trusted adult. 

Do Nots:

• Don’t solely reach out for data purposes; include them in/create events that are lighthearted and family-oriented 
• Don’t just talk to young people, listen! Ask open-ended questions, let them lead meetings, decide what’s next for them, etc. 
• Do not paternalize young people. Don’t belittle their ideas, don’t be controlling, don’t lie or sugarcoat things, and be honest and authentic with them. Most kids understand and just need a sense of direction not for trusted adults to take over.

Education sources on best practices:

• Act For Youth: “Youth engagement happens when young people participate in meaningful opportunities and roles that allow them to build on their strengths, take on responsibilities, and contribute to decisions that affect themselves and others.”
• National Civic Review: “Engaging youth in government can take many forms. Our focus is particularly in regard to community governance through active citizenship and civic engagement. Barry Checkoway and Adriana Aldana recently provided some conceptual organization to youth civic engagement and identified four forms: citizen participation, grassroots organizing, intergroup dialogue, and sociopolitical development.” 
• YouthPower2: “Meaningful youth engagement is an inclusive, intentional, mutually-respectful partnership between youth and adults whereby power is shared, respective contributions are valued, and young people’s ideas, perspectives, skills and strengths are integrated into the design and delivery of programs, strategies, policies, funding mechanisms and organizations that affect their lives and their communities, countries and globally. Meaningful youth engagement recognizes and seeks to change the power structures that prevent young people from being considered experts in regard to their own needs and priorities, while also building their leadership capacities. Youth includes a full spectrum of the population aged 10-29 regardless of socioeconomic status, ethnic identity, sexual orientation and gender identity, disability, political affiliation, or physical location.”
• Youth.gov: Based on the literature, the Interagency Working Group on Youth Programs, a collaboration of 22 federal departments and agencies that support youth, has created the following definition of positive youth development (PYD): “PYD is an intentional, prosocial approach that engages youth within their communities, schools, organizations, peer groups, and families in a manner that is productive and constructive; recognizes, utilizes, and enhances young people’s strengths; and promotes positive outcomes for young people by providing opportunities, fostering positive relationships, and furnishing the support needed to build on their leadership strengths.”
  • 8 BEST approaches

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Resources that are available to young people in the East Bay – supportive environments for LGBTQ+ young people

Here are some great examples of organizations nationwide already doing great work and demonstrating EBGTZ key pointers.

Do Haves:

• Collaborative events; organizations from both Alameda & Contra Costa counties should be consistently working together to run events. 
• Youth-focused events while trusted adults play a background role.

Do Nots:

•  Have solely informational/testing events 

Organizations facilitating in-person/virtual adult-youth events and workshops.

• BYD Book: “helps families and caregivers of Black youth in Oakland find community-led programs that educate and nurture our children from preschool through young adulthood.
  • These programs – from 60 organizations – range from literacy to mentorship, health & wellness, STEM, arts, African-centered curriculum, college support, career prep, and much more. Most are free, some are low-cost, and some are opportunities for paid work experience.”
• Roots Community Health 
• LGBTQ+ community center
• HEPPAC 
• AIDS Healthcare Foundation
• Asian Health Services
• Dream Youth Clinic
• Ryse Youth Center
• Rainbow Community Center
• Advocates for Youth 
• Young Women’s Freedom Center
• Advocates for Youth

Engaging Young Parents:

• Intro:  “Society’s framing of teen pregnancy as a “problem that must be solved ” has led to widespread stigma of young people who do become pregnant and parent children. As a result, young parents face serious challenges to education, stability, and achieving their life goals–problems caused not by parenting itself but by the failure of policies, systems and attitudes in our country to support young families.ed in programming to reduce teenage pregnancy in the United States. Further, when it comes to solutions, young parents are often excluded from the decision-making table, both by structural and cultural forces, ranging from lack of childcare to the pervasive stigmas associated with young parenthood.” 
• Purpose: “A Toolkit for Youth-Serving Organizations and Agencies is designed to help youth-serving institutions authentically engage young parents as partners and leaders in their organization’s efforts to serve young families. The toolkit provides best practices, tips and resources to create a Young Parent Leadership Council (YPLC) comprised of eight to ten young parent-leaders who can offer insights into the barriers and opportunities young parents face, partner with adult staff to advocate for improvements to programs, policies and systems to better meet the needs of young parents, their families and communities, and help build pathways of economic opportunity for YPLC members and other young parents in your community.” 
• Tools: Worksheet/workshop sample of program

Content and collateral from old EBGTZ youth-led projects

• RYSE mural
• Youth Testing Day event 
• S.M.X.Y event 

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Combating Adultism in the workplace

Advocates for Youth: “The essence of youth involvement is a partnership between adults and young people – one in which each party has the opportunity to make suggestions and decisions and in which the contribution of each is recognized and valued.” 

Adultism:

•  Definition:
  •  Webster Dictionary: prejudice or discrimination against young people as a group. https://www.merriam-webster.com/wordplay/what-does-adultism-mean
  • NYRA: behaviors and attitudes based on the assumption that adults are better than young people, and entitled to act upon young people without their agreement. This mistreatment is reinforced by social institutions, laws, customs, and attitudes .https://www.youthrights.org/understanding-adultism/
  • Adultism should be combated in every workspace because it adds to the stigma that children are inferior and incapable. It also excludes their voices, opinions, and expertise in industries where their knowledge is needed and resourceful.

Key pointers combating adultism from EBGTZ and other credible organizations. 

Do Haves:

• Find ways to include both young people’s experience alongside professional (adult) experience. 
• Make projects/events where both parties (young adults & seasoned professionals) have a chance to take leadership positions. 
• Respect both parties’ experiences, opinions, and contributions throughout the entire event/project process.
• Schedule teamings where young adults can attend in their full capacity whether in-person or virtual. 
• Be honest but kind. Many of the youth are doing this for the first time, give them time to learn and develop.

Do Nots:

• Showcase tokenism. It does not equal an authentic partnership for/with the youth.
• Leave you to fend for themselves. There should be proper guidance with clear directions/instructions to follow based on their interpretations. 
• Just push off grunt work to youth. If adults don’t want to do it then surely young adults don’t want to either. 
• Give young adults expectations with little to no training.
• Create (youth) boards with less than three youth present.
• Have many meetings without youth especially if decisions will affect them.
• Be pushy. Don’t expect more from the youth than they have learned. 

Detailed workshops for organizations to use that demonstrate possible ways to battle adultism.  

• Testing availability 
• Paid internship
• Paid research studies 
• Specific tab for youth engagement specialists & the point of the role, the YEWG bio, who it consists of, the type of work they’re/we’re doing etc. 
• Creating a calendar for youth listening sessions, events, other organizations’ events, their social media etc.