Support for LGBQT+ youth from traditional and nontraditional family members is important so they feel safe and comfortable, and overall have a better start on life.
According to the Oakland LGBTQ+ Community Center, LGBTQ+ young adults who reported higher levels of family rejection during adolescence were 8.4 times more likely to report having attempted suicide, 5.9 times more likely to report high levels of depression, 3.4 times more likely to use illegal drugs, and 3.4 times more likely to report having engaged in unprotected sex compared with peers from families that reported no or low levels of family rejection.
Below are key pointers from EBGTZ and other credible sources on being an approachable trusted adult parent or household member.
Do:
- Make sure you have factual information and resources to help support both you and the young person both during and after conversations about sexuality, gender identity, mental health, substance use, and sexual health.
- Listen to your child. Try your best to understand where they are coming from and what they are trying to articulate, and let them express their thoughts without interruption.
- If you are confused, ask questions. The better the understanding between the two of you, the greater and more impactful the conversation.
- Think and speak from a place of intent, love, and empathy. Imagine your own childhood. How did you want to be spoken to and understood as a youth?
- Learn and understand different terminology associated with your child’s identity and sexual orientation.
- It’s okay to be embarrassed. Allow your child to see your discomfort and willingness to be vulnerable.
- As children develop, get older, and experience life, allow conversations to dive deeper into particular areas of the youth’s choice. For younger youth, the importance of youth defining themselves (personal agency), pronouns, and understanding cis and trans experiences might be the focus. When speaking with teenagers, topics like romantic relationships, sex, and sexual health should be discussed.
Do Not:
- Don’t be judgemental. Youth want to feel heard, respected, and loved even if you don’t agree or fully understand. Don’t let your emotions cloud your judgment.
- Overtalk or take over the conversation. You are the passenger of this conversation; the youth is steering.
Below are resources for more information on this topic:
- Skills to have as a trusted adult: Advocates for youth – Are you an askable parent?
- The importance of age-appropriate sexual health education from Rutgers International Centers of Excellence on Comprehensive Sexuality Education
- Talking about sex with young people: Advocates for youth – Honest Sex Education
Below are city and statewide programs/workshops for both families and LGBQT+ youth participants:
Oakland LGBQT+ Community Center
Town Youth Club
Town Youth Club (TYC) offers a variety of activities, programming, and support services to LGBTQIA youth and young adults in two age groups: Ages 13-17 & 18-25. For more information call 510-347-8713 or 510-882-2286. Please join the Town Youth Club by completing the registration form below.
GSA Network
Supporting LGBTQ+ Youth through Family Engagement
Families play a critical role in a student’s social and emotional well-being as well as their academic performance. Research has shown that students whose parents are involved in their educational achievements are more likely to do better academically regardless of their parent’s education level, socioeconomic status, and ethnic or racial background. Additionally, higher levels of school connectedness and family acceptance have been shown to reduce the behaviors associated with HIV and STI risk. Engaging families and parents of LGBTQ students could help reduce behavioral risks associated with HIV and STI.
Our Family Coalition
Family Support
For over twenty years, Our Family Coalition has provided community-building and support for LGBTQ+ families with children, prospective parents, youth, allies, community partners, and volunteers.
We offer a wide range of programming – 250-300 events annually – including informational workshops, peer- and professional-led support groups, field trip outings, seasonal celebrations, informal meet-ups, playgroups, and more in both San Francisco and the East Bay.
Visit the Family Support website
Education
Our Family Coalition’s Education Team works with families, teachers, administrators, and child-serving professionals to support their school communities and agencies in becoming more welcoming of LGBTQ+ families, children, and our allies.
We also work with California K-12 public school communities and education professionals as they adopt and teach the new LGBTQ-inclusive history and social science curriculum.
Policy & Advocacy
Our advocacy is focussed on increasing visibility and equity for all LGBTQ families. Driven by parent leadership from our own community, we work with local, state, and national partner organizations to advocate for change on the issues relevant to our families, including family equality, inclusive schools, immigration reform, and healthcare reform. In the media and in political forums, we work to improve public perception of and policy for LGBTQ families.